So here I am, heading back to university after an amazing Christmas with my family and boyfriend. Following from my very first blog post in November about how I was having doubts about whether uni is right path for me, a few months later into my life at university and I have come to the conclusion that my gut instinct was correct – it just is not for me. I put my heart and soul into trying to persuade myself to love it and convince myself that university is the way forward, but it was just no use. I am just stuck in a rut; a spiraling circle that is not helping anything and being there is just making me more and more unhappy.
Okay, it’s true, university isn’t for everyone. But I can’t help but think that because I’m deciding to drop out and pursue other things, I am a failure. Everyone always tells you that the only way in life to make something of yourself and be successful is to ultimately go to university, graduate with a first-class degree and from then on your life is perfect. This isn’t the case for everyone – especially for me.
After conducting some research online I quickly realised that I’m not the only one feeling this way, as according to the Telegraph, in a survey of “1,200 first-year students in January indicated that 28% had either dropped out following the Christmas break or were seriously thinking about it”.
I am part of that 28%.
I enjoy the work-load I have at university – I love challenging myself and university allowed me to do this, as well as learn new things on a daily basis. However, I feel like learning in a dynamic workplace is better suited to me. I would be able to work, building upon my skills and learning new ones, meeting new people, challenging myself daily and overcoming problems and, most importantly, gaining valuable experience in the big wide world.
I’m definitely not what you’d call the typical student that is debating to ‘drop out’ of university… I love to work and expand my horizons to better myself as a person. Although I was quite clearly a little bit over-ambitious in thinking that Newcastle was the right university to pick. At first, the distance of 251 miles away from home didn’t phase me when going on weekend trips and open days… it wasn’t until I actually got accepted into the uni and moved in that everything just went swiftly downhill. Added to the fact that I am struggling to adapt to the typical ‘student life’ and surroundings – particularly the party lifestyle that ‘the toon’ is notorious for – uni life just isn’t slotting into place and I absolutely loathe it.
University life is making me deeply unhappy and has led to me being permanently upset and a victim to anxiety and overwhelming sadness that I’ve never felt before. This is why, on reflection and after much deliberation, I have come to the conclusion that I need to be brave, stand up for myself and do something about the way I am feeling, because continuing down this rocky path isnn’t going to end in happiness any time soon, and ultimately, happiness is the most important thing. You fundamentally cannot go through life being unhappy because it will just make you hate everything you love and run yourself into the ground and end up feeling like you have no way out.
“the world is your oyster”
The moral of this post it simply just to let anyone know, who is in my position or considering leaving university, that it really isn’t the end of the world. There is so much available out there for everyone, it’s just about asking around and getting experience to help you get the jobs you want to do in the future. As cliche as it sounds, the saying “the world is your oyster” couldn’t be more fitting. Grab life with both hands and embrace every minute of it, don’t waste your life being unhappy – do something about it!